I am very grateful that God has just given me a solid week of not leaving the house, not having to go anywhere. For some, that would drive them looney, but it was just what I needed! The last time I had a whole week free of demands, was probably about four or five months ago! I have really been struggling with my CFS, feeling like I have barely been surviving each day, just keeping my head above water. I've also been struggling with feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, discouraged, and spiritually blah too. So, this week was truly a gift to me.
During this week, I was able to rest, read for fun, watch some of my DVR list, catch up with a friend over the phone, have conservations with my husband, catch up with my online friends on Sparkpeople and facebook, do some things around the house in spurts, and spend some time with the Lord. The anniversary of my grandma's passing came and went (Nov. 2, 19 years ago), and I have been blessed with my first great nephew, (born Oct. 31). (More to come on these later.)
I wish I could say I feel fully rested. I don't. And the last few days I have been either fighting a cold, or a flare-up of my CFS. But I sure feel much better than I did, and that's progress. Anyone with chronic illness is acutely aware it takes time for recovery, but I have enjoyed and appreciated this week.
I know there's truth in the health of the whole being -- physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual -- being affected by the health of one or more parts. As I have tired physically, those other parts of me have suffered as well. Again, it takes time, but I have been given some additional insights into my relationship with God, and I don't feel quite so helpless and overwhelmed emotionally. The frustration and discouragement still lingers around the edges, especially at this time of the year, but I thank the Lord for the Gift of Rest, and will do all I can to make sure I have more of these opportunities to be still and lie down in green pastures.
One of my favorite passages is Matt: 11: 28-30, which includes these words "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." That's what this week has been for me.
